


Aviator Glasses and Pie

by IBelieveInCastiel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Doubt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fights, Happy Ending, Hunting, Hurt/Comfort, Impala, Love, M/M, Monsters, Relationship(s), Slow Build, scared
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-04
Updated: 2016-01-03
Packaged: 2018-03-05 09:14:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3114395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IBelieveInCastiel/pseuds/IBelieveInCastiel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel has finally come home after a long stretch of lone hunting. Dean attempts to confront his feelings, and when a hunt appears in Team Free Will's laps Dean is forced to shove the notion aside for work. Does Cas feel the same way Dean does? And will Dean finally tell Cas how he feels? The hunt for monsters and the hunt for love are about to get complicated.</p><p>*Working on a Playlist on 8Tracks! I'll be posting it soon! :)*</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is from a prompt I read on my Destiel Group. It started as a One-Shot but it's quickly turning into an actual fic :) oops.

A booming knocking sound disrupts Sam from his daily scan of weird news articles on the laptop. Dean is sitting across from sam at the large bunker table digging into a bowl of cereal. Dean wipes his mouth.

“Must be Cas. Let him in would you Sammy?”

“Why can’t you? I’m trying to find us another case here.”

“So?” Dean takes another bite of cereal chewing it with his mouth open, the way he knows annoys Sam’s precious sensibilities the most.

“You’re a pig.” Sam says getting up and climbing the stairs to answer the door. Dean goes back to finishing his bowl of cereal. He hears Cas speaking to Sammy on the way down, his rumbling voice soothing the sore spot in his heart from his absence. Cas was his best friend after Sammy. It was normal to miss the strange guy, he told himself. 

Dean stood up to give the guy a hug when Sam and Cas rounded the corner and Dean stopped short. His brother and Cas were still talking, unaware that Dean had just had a weight punch through his chest.

Cas was wearing blue military fatigues, with black steel toed boots. His shoulders seemed to fill out the Cami shirt in a way Dean had never seen before. His left hand was holding a crossbow Dean recognized as the “Predator” and on his face sat a pair of Aviator glasses. Dean cleared his throat, feeling suddenly very funny down south.

“Sammy.” Dean said. Cas looks Dean in the eye, his blue ones searing into Dean’s with an intensity that caused Dean to catch his breath.

“Hey Cas” Dean says breathless as he’s digging in his jeans front pocket. His hand brushes his erection, and ignoring it he hands Sam the keys to the Impala.

“Just drive. Anywhere. For a long time.” Dean’s voice croaks as he speaks. He prays that no one else notices. Sam frowns. Cas only studies Dean’s face, and Dean knows he’s taking a huge risk, but his brain is in a fog, and the only clear thing he can see right now is Cas’s face.  
“What?” Cas shifts his feet, watching the exchange between the brothers.

“GO. NOW.” Dean says impatiently opening Sam’s hands placing the keys there.

Sam sighs. “Ok then, do you want anything to eat? Pie maybe?” Cas goes around the table to sit in the chair opposite of where Dean was sitting. Dean smirks at Cas,

“Sure.” Dean bites his lip, and he knows it’s probably making Sam uncomfortable if he notices but he no longer cares. “Pie sounds great.”

“Okkkkay. See you guys soon.” Sam says turning to grab his coat off the hook and climbing the stairs. Dean glances at Cas from the side and sees that his face is red.

“Bye Sammy.” Dean says grinning from ear to ear. Dean sits down in his chair again, mind spinning. He’s been feeling funny in his chest for a while now, even /down there/ which both scared and excited Dean. As for this feeling in his chest, he’s never really felt it before, and he wasn’t sure what /it/ exactly was. 

A hunter had no time for things like feelings. It just wasn’t allowed. Those things clouded your judgement, caused mistakes. Mistakes lead to death.

“Dean.” Cas’s voice rumbled in the silence, and Dean closed his eyes reveling in it. He hadn’t realized how much he missed that voice until he heard it again.

“Cas, what are you wearing man?” Dean said, his voice as controlled as possible/ He was still breathless, but at least he could give the appearance of control. His heart was beating away in his chest like it wanted to fly away, and Dean scratched his chest, hoping it would stay.

“I was working a case at Fort Lee, VA. I required military clothes so I bought some from this store that sold supplies, uniforms.” He replied.

“An Army Surplus?” 

“Yes. A Surplus. The case was pretty cut and dry. Standard haunting in the officer quarters.” Dean nodded.

“That’s-that’s great Cas. “ Dean looked Cas up and down. Cas starts to rummage in his pant leg pocket.

“I brought you back something.” Dean’s heart skipped a beat. “Bros” brought gifts back to their friends all the time right?

“Aww, you didn’t have to do that man.” Dean said as Cas produced a shot glass sliding it across the table to Dean. It read “Fort Lee”. Dean smiled.

“Awesome. Let me go put it in my room.” Dean stood up, and Cas stood up too.

“I’ll go with you.” Dean went down the hallway, Cas’s steps behind him so close he could feel the occasional brush of the fabric against his coat. It was unnerving. His room was clean as always, and Dean walked across the room placing the shot glass carefully on the shelf above his bed frame. He grinned at it, turning around only to bump into Cas, who was standing directly behind him. 

Dean took a sharp intake of breath. Cas’s face was barely an inch away. For a second, the world stopped. Silence. Heartbeats. Breathing. Then it shattered as Dean grabbed Cas’s face pushing his lips against his, crushing his chest into him. Cas made a squeak before Dean turned him, laying his gently on the bed. He could be rough later. Right now he wanted to take his time, pour all his thought and intent into this act. His tongue ran along Cas’s bottom lip before he lifted himself up, arms on either side of Cas.

“Is this?” He hesitated, unsure if Cas was going to punch him or smite him into nonexistence.

Cas stared into Dean’s eyes, his soul, it felt like to Dean before shyly smiling.

“This is good.” He leaned up, sliding his hand behind Dean’s neck and pulled him in for another kiss, this time with more earnest as he slid his tongue into Dean. Dean moaned into Cas’s mouth, immensely pleased that Cas wanted this. He had struggled for so long about his weird feelings for Cas that he was scared to death of actually showing them. But he couldn’t hold back any longer. He needed Cas, wanted Cas. Cas paused to start unbuttoning his blue shirt, but Dean stopped him, unbuttoning it instead. 

"Dean." Cas stared at Dean.

"Yeah?" Dean said breathless as he finished the buttons and Cas slid the Cami top off revealing a tight dark blue shirt underneath. 

"Hurry."


	2. All Work & No Play Make Dean A Very Frustrated Boy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short 2nd chapter. I filled it in here and there, and correctly mistakes. If there are more I'm sorry I didn't have a beta. Chapter 3 is in the works.

Dean hummed his approval, slipping his hands underneath the t-shirt, loving how soft his skin was beneath his finger tips. The man was smooth, Dean thought to himself before leaning down to plant a kiss on Cas's lips. Cas smiled against the kiss, and Dean deepened it, fingers trailing down Cas's sides when the phone rang.

"Dammit. " Dean muttered against Cas's mouth. Cas whined in agreement.

"You should get that." Cas said, sitting up and putting his Cami shirt back on. Dean growled, getting off the bed to grab the cell on the side table.

"What." He said, a bit harsher than usual. The person on the other end of the phone was sobbing, female, and he caught the words "Scared" and "House." before the sobbing continued. Dean sighed. Cas was dressed again, smoothing down his shirt and rubbing his hands on his pants. 

"Dean? Cas? I brought pizza" Sam called from the main room. 

"I'm-I'm sorry." Cas said hastily, leaving the room to head for the one he stayed in when he came over. Dean's heart dropped into his stomach. He didn't want Cas to leave. 

"Tell us your location Lady, we'll be right over." He copied down the details on a piece of paper he kept in the top drawer of the side table and hung up. Dean ran his fingers through his hair confused and frustrated.

"Cas-wait!" He called, following Cas out of his bedroom but Cas was halfway to his room already. Cas ignored Dean, hurrying down the hallway at an unusual pace.

"Be right there Sam!" Dean called as he jogged to catch up with Cas. Cas shut his bedroom door just as Dean caught up. Dean could hear the click of the large lock. Dean smacked a hand on the large door. 

"Cas, talk to me." Dean's heart was beating faster than ever, and not because he was excited. Please, please don't let this have been a mistake, he thought frantically. I can't lose him. I can't. 

"I'm sorry Dean. I-I'm unsure how I feel right now. I need time, space." Dean leaned his head against the door, his lungs burning from the lack of air. He was hyperventilating. Get it together, he told himself sternly. You're Dean Winchester. You'll figure this out.

"Cas, I'm sorry if I scared you. I'm sorry man. If you-" he gulped, "if you want to pretend it never happened, we can do that. It's fine. It's all good." Dean's chest was squeezing in on itself, his heartbeat so loud he could feel it pounding in his head. This was not the way it was supposed to happen. Why did he kiss him? Why did he show his feelings instead of locking them up tight like he had been doing all his life? Fucking feelings, he thought bitterly. They weren't meant for him. They never would be.

"I think, for now that would be best." The words kicked him in the face, causing Dean to stumble back from the door eyes widened in disbelief. What was happening? He ran through the last ten minutes in his head, wondering if maybe the glances, the kisses were all him. Did Dean force Cas without realizing it? His head was suddenly very foggy, and a mixture of confusion and shame made Dean want to curl into a ball and die. 

"Dean!" Sam called down the hallway. "The food's getting cold!"

"Alright! Take it to the car Sammy we've got a case in Denver!" Sam turned back into the main room, and Dean knocked on the door.

"Gotta case you comin'?" Dean held his breath. One Heartbeat. Two. 

"Yes. " His voice softer than usual answered. "I'll meet you at the car." Dean blew out the air he was holding, the worry sitting like a weight on his chest. Dean started down the hallway towards the main room where Sam was.

Dean was confused, ashamed, and strangely angry. He wasn't sure what he did wrong, but he wanted to find out. He was going to bury his feelings so deep he would never find them again. Never. He wasn't sure if he spooked Cas, or maybe Cas didn't have the same strange feelings swirling around in his head and his chest, or maybe Cas just wasn't built that way. Whatever the reason was, it hurt. It hurt more than Dean wanted to admit, and when Dean hurt Dean shut down. He couldn't help it, and he knew tonight would end with a bottle in his hand. It was the only way Dean knew how to cope. Which was not to cope. 

"What's up?" Sam asked as Dean walked in, grabbed a slice of pizza and sat down. He took a bite chewing furiously as Sam ate his own, calmly sitting across from him. Sam knew something was wrong, but at this point he knew better than to ask. Dean would tell Sam in his own time or not at all. Poking the bear Dean became in these moments was not wise. 

"Nothing. Gotta case. Let's go." Dean brushed the crumbs from his hands, standing up.

"You two have a fight or something?" Sam asked, always the observant one.

"No. We're good." Dean replied as Cas walked in dressed in a plain black tee shirt and jeans. He looked hot as fuck, but the thought only made Dean angry. He had no right to look at Cas in that light after Cas told him he wanted to forget what happened. That was it, Dean decided. He doesn't want me that way. Time to move on. Sam looked from Cas to Dean back to Cas.

"Everything good?" Cas frowned at him.

"Why wouldn't it be? I'm ready for the hunt." He grabbed a slice of pizza, and Sam closed the box taking it with him up the stairs. "Okay." Sam hesitantly replied. "Let's go start the car Cas." Cas followed Sam up the stairs, each of them holding their own duffel bag. Dean walked back down the hallway, fighting to keep his emotions under control. His chest hurt, it hurt to breath, and a small small part of Dean wanted to curl up and cry. What he felt for Cas he's never felt before, and probably would never feel again. He would shove those feelings where the sun didn't shine, and he would mosey the fuck on. Whatever happened next, Dean would deal with it. He could deal with anything. He glared at the bed, which just a few minutes ago held the only other person in his life he cared for. Now it held fucked up sheets. A memory of something he almost had. A dream within grasp that he far from deserved and never ever would. He stooped to grab his bottle of whiskey from under the bed. Opening the cap he took a swig, and stuck it into his bag. It was going to be a long drive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for still reading! <3


	3. "You might get hurt if you don't keep it hid"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The ride to Denver is an awkward one. Will Dean and Cas make up in time to work the case?   
> Has he lost his mind?  
> Can he see or is he blind?  
> Can he walk at all,  
> Or if he moves will he fall?

The car was already running when Dean finally made his way outside. Sam was waiting in the passenger seat, and Cas was in the back staring carefully in the opposite direction of Dean. He climbed into his Baby, tossing his bag in the back seat not caring if it hit Cas or not. It clipped Cas in the shoulder, but to Cas’ credit he ignored it. Dean was acting completely childish, but he didn’t care.

“What’s wrong with you?” Sam demanded, glancing back to check on Cas before turning his brother bitchface on Dean.

“Nothing.” Dean replied, pulling out into the road. Dean glanced back in his review to check for other cars, but he knew he was really just wanted to look at Cas. Cas was silent, his face carefully blank, his usual expression which was both frustrating and unnerving. The guy had emotions didn’t he? And yet he never showed them. 

“Whatever man. Tell me about this case. You know I’m down for anything, but what’s the deal? Has there been any weird deaths in Denver?”

“I dunno Sammy. The lady just called less than an hour ago.”

“But you didn’t get any details?” Dean shifted a little in his seat.

“Well, yeah. She sounded scared, she was crying so hard I couldn’t tell half of what she was saying but it sounded like she was having problems in her house.” Sam gave him the look. The, you-are-only-thinking-with-your-dick look. 

“Don’t look at me like that. This one sounded legit.” Sam chuckled, shaking his head. Sam carded his hand through his hair staring out the window.

“Sure Dean. I just can’t believe you’re getting whipped by a woman you haven’t met yet. That’s all it takes to get you to jump? A woman crying? Boo Hoo come save me.”

“Can it will you Sammy? I want to drive in peace for a while. We’ve got a few hours drive.” Sam settled into the seat, grinning ear to ear as he closed his eyes.. Dean glanced back at Cas, still silent. He wished he knew what the guy was thinking. What was he feeling. He was usually a little closed off, but this tension that accompanied the silence, this was new.

“You gonna ignore me this entire case?” Dean asks, his voice clipping the last word short. That shot of whiskey he had a few minutes ago was finally starting to rumble under his skin, forming a thick protective barrier around his chest, but loosening the one around his mouth.

Cas turned to look at Dean through the rearview mirror, his eyes stark blue against the setting sun. 

“No, Dean. I’m not ignoring you. I’m thinking.” Cas’ voice, that gravely deep voice, the one Dean loved, only made him remember the pain.  
“Think about what huh?” he hissed, glancing at Sam who was now fast asleep if his slight snoring was any indication.

“Things Dean. I’m allowed to think aren’t I? I said I was sorry. I never meant to hurt you.”

Dean laughed humorously. “Yeah well, I’ll be fine. “ Cas turned to look out the window, and Dean leaned sideways to grab the small bag he tossed from the floor of the back seat. He groped around for a second, watching the road as he dug out his liquid bandage. The road was clear, thankfully, and Dean swerved for a second before maneuvering the bottle into his lap. Dean cursed himself for thinking Cas had wanted him, who would want a broken man? He 

He glanced at it, wishing he could have some. Drinking and driving however was incredibly stupid. Dean Winchester has done some incredibly, horribly, stupid things in his life; but this wouldn’t be one of them. Sighing, he gently placed the bottle at Sam’s feet, turning on his music instead.

Black Sabbath’s “Iron Man” blared through the speakers, and the world around Dean faded. 

Has he lost his mind?  
Can he see or is he blind?  
Can he walk at all,  
Or if he moves will he fall?  
Is he alive or dead?  
Has he thoughts within his head?  
We'll just pass him there  
why should we even care?

Dean gripped the steering wheel harder, the hurt inside boiling.

*

Cas sat in the back seat, a hole gaping in his chest. Not physically, no- physically he was still alive. But he felt like one giant throb of pain. He sighed internally, staring out the window wishing he could have handled the situation better. 

He truly never meant to upset Dean. Dean was the most important person other than Sam in his entire existence. If he was honest with himself, it was because he freaked. Castiel, former soldier of Heaven, ex-commander of his own garrison, former powerhouse was scared to the bone. His feelings were spiking all over the place when it came to Dean, and that’s why he disappeared so many months ago. He needed to get Dean Winchester and his green eyes out of his head for a while. It worked, until Cas felt he couldn’t stay away any longer. He figured he could handle seeing Dean again. And he could, for all of a minute. Sam’s chit chat kept him occupied for a minute until the second Cas turned that corner and everything halted.

There was Dean, his eyes making a beeline for Cas. Cas sucked in a breath, his heart beating against his ribcage in desperation. Dean, the man whom he fell from Heaven for, the man he gripped tight, the man, that righteous man, who deserved so much more than he thought he deserved. His green eyes roamed up and down Cas’s outfit, and he wished he could climb inside his head, follow his thoughts. Dean was a mystery to Cas.

When Dean croaked out for Sam to leave, Cas knew he was in trouble. Not yet ready to confront his feelings, he stalled by giving Dean the gift he picked out at the base. What he didn’t anticipate was his body moving on it’s own, following Dean into his bedroom.

Cas was thoroughly surprised at Dean’s reaction, and then….he freaked out.

The hurt in Dean’s voice through his steel door was too much to bear. For a split second Cas wanted to curl into himself and skip out on the hunt. How could he face Dean. He was so scared of letting himself fully feel the feelings that swam around in his chest. He choked back a sob that was crawling out of his throat. He needed to fix this, but how?

Then when he saw how devastatingly hurt and pissed off Dean was Cas shrank into himself. Dean used anger as a shield, and now Cas was going to have to break that shield down again. Maybe he would get a chance to sneak in a few private words to Dean. If he could explain himself, Dean would understand. Dean just gets Cas. No one, not even his own brothers and sisters in Heaven really got him. Dean does. Dean always has, and even when Cas was at his worst, Dean was pulling him out of his own doubts, fears and misery. Dean was the light in his life when nothing else was going right. He was undoubtedly, in love with a human. Not just any human. Dean Winchester.

Cas closed his eyes, his heart aching for Dean, aching for himself, and most of all aching for the chance he lost that will probably never ever come back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this was so rushed! I need to tidy it up tomorrow! Thank you for reading and please excuse any errors they are all mine and it's past midnight (I'm tired) Also, sorry about the angst! I SWEAR it's going to get better trust me. I don't do sad endings :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Boys make a quick stop for food, and Dean gets all angsty. Sam's starting to notice something is off, will the boys confront their feelings?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow I haven't worked on this in a year! Sorry T_T I promise I'll be updating this one and Run & Catch Me regularly, at least once a week if I can. I'm working and going to school full time so I'm going to do my best to squeeze this one in every so often. Thank you for sticking around this long! Short chapter update, but the next one will be longer

Dean cursed himself for thinking Cas had wanted him, who would want a broken man? He didn’t deserve anything close to happiness. This much was made clear by all the shit he’s had to deal with time and time again. His only constant was Sammy, and even they had falling outs sometimes. Cas and his stupid blue eyes, and his blank face that made everything hard to understand. What did he do wrong?

Dean pulled over at the first rest area and gas station they came across. The air in his Baby was thick, full of feelings that Dean was trying to understand. He needed some fresh air and a moment to clear his head.

“You’ve gotta take a leak already?” Sam asked Dean, as the two of them got out of the Impala. Sam opened the back door to help Cas step out.

“Yeah well, I feel like I’m stuck in a tin can Sammy. I’ve been driving forever.”

“It’s been three hours” Sam responded, giving Dean his typical face. Cas just stretched his arms, cracking his back. Dean stomped off to the little market to grab some snacks. He couldn’t stay in that car another minute , the tension so thick it was choking him. Over and over again he wondered what went wrong? Maybe he was just to broken for anyone to want. He didn’t want that thought to hurt, he thought he had developed a thick enough skin not to care, but it stung. It stung so bad Dean was bent over trying to suck in deep breathes. 

That’s when Sam came around the corner, holding a bottled water in one hand, and a bag of non gmo potato chips in the other. Cas was nowhere to be seen.

“Dean, are you okay? What’s wrong?” Dean stood up, mind reeling.

“Nothing Sam, let’s go.” Sam put a hand on his shoulder to stop him.

“Woah woah woah. Something’s wrong. You’ve been acting funny since we left the bunker.” Dean glared at him. Leave it alone Sammy he thought angrily. 

“Ready to go?” Cas came around the corner holding a prepackaged cheeseburger and a water. he look back and forth between the boys. Sam dropped his hand.

“Yep. Let’s get back on the road.” Dean stalked off outside, heading towards the bathrooms on the back of the building. Sam, too perceptive for his own good, Dean thought irritated. He locked himself in the dirty stall, hiding. He grabbed the side of the dingy sink, willing himself to look at himself in the mirror. His eyes, full of some strange emotion he vaguely recognized as hurt, stared back. Over the years he had hardened himself to pain, to heartache. God knows he’s been through his fair share of it over his lifetime.

That’s why Cas was a breathe of fresh air. Relief against the cruelty and loneliness of the job. Sure, he had Sammy, but with Cas, with that funny socially awkward angel, he found refuge. No pretending he wasn’t the fuck up he always knew he was, Cas knew of all the darkest places inside of Dean, and yet he willingly put his heart and soul into the ideas Dean made up. He always sacrificed himself, “For Dean” he always said softly. As if Dean’s name was a holy proclamation. 

He had to make this right. Somehow, he had to make this right. If Cas would only let him explain how sorry he was for even putting Cas in that position, for kissing him. For touching him. Dean gripped the sink tighter, resisting the urge to scream. He couldn’t stand the thought of losing Cas as a friend, but he also couldn’t come to terms with the idea that their relationship would go back to normal after this incident.

Dean wiped his face, taking in a breathe steal himself. He washed his face and hands, before unlocking the bathroom door and heading back to the Impala.

 

*

Sam finished checking out with Cas, and the two of them waited by the Impala stretching their legs. Sam cracked open his water, taking a long chug. He glanced at Cas, who was staring off into space, a weird look on his face. The water bottle was clutched to his chest, his burger unopened. He had a small inkling what was wrong, but he needed more evidence before he made his mind one hundred percent. 

“You alright Cas? You’ve been, I dunno acting off since we started this trip.” Cas turned to Sam.

“I’m focused on this case Sam, that’s all.” He turned back to staring into space. When Dean stalked back to the car he didn’t say a word to either of them, only starting the car. Sam and Cas exchanged glances before getting back into the car. Sam held back a sigh.

If these two didn’t stop prancing around their feelings and make up before the case was over Sam was going to lose what was left of his mind. Those two stubborn idiots were going to give him gray hairs.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. :)


End file.
